Insight into Labelled Love: Terms

On Instagram there is this #6wordchallenge and a fellow writer, @joshuacallawaypoetry challenged me to participate.
I ended up having more than one inspiration, but one was actually taken from one of the chapters of Labelled Love, a little bit modified, but nevertheless.
So, instead of just using it on insta, I thought, I’m going to share the whole chapter with you to set it into context.
Enjoy the read, my dears 😉

Terms

Stamps, labels, scales, measurements.
This seems to be the way we understand the world, our surroundings.
In her life, she was allowed to experience the miracle of unconditional love.
A love without conditions.
Without thinking “I love you, but…”, or “I love you, but only if you…”.
The universe had allowed her a glimpse on the utmost and only truth: Love.
A small glimpse, the rush of a moment and since then, she understood that she was able to love someone without expectations, without ‘buts’ and ‘ifs’.
That was why she revolted against stamps, scales, measurements and labels. They just didn’t matter to her.
Once she had discovered that she loved him, that was the only thing she needed to know.
Where would it go from there? Would she be defeated? Tricked and fooled again? Would she fly too high and fall too hard?
She banished those fearful thoughts and exchanged them with the only reasonable answer or contra question possible:
What does it matter? Does it matter at all?
If she fell, she’d get up again. This might be the most stupid and risky or the best and most moving idea ever. Anyway, it would be an experience.
Truth or dare? She dared the truth.
And she was rewarded by the soft words of a smart young man, who didn’t care about labels either. He told her that the term ‘relationship’ was what they both would define it as. And that they would discover this definition together in time.

Gina Laventura©2014

Reflection


Photo: Kathrin Mauksch

I look into the mirror but it doesn’t reflect me.
A blurred silhouette in a watery periphery.
I trusted a stranger and I doubted my heart.
Seems like I mistook angels for demons and demons for angels. A blurred picture in a watery mirror.
I do not reflect. I’m trapped. Stuck. My vision is clear, but my sight is blurry.
So I wipe away the tears and release the pressure into the ground. The supporting vibes of the earth pushing back and setting me upright.
Deep inhale after cutting the surface. Water dripping from my face over my shoulders onto the floor.
I turn my head. My vision’s still clear. Hands covering my face. I was mistaken. I have let myself be taken. With watery words onto a blurred path. Mistaken.
Drip, drop, drop, drip. I breath. Water dripping from the mirror. It reflects. Me?
Say with me: I forgive myself and I forgive the others.
A big wave splashing into my face, pouring into me. I’m still standing. The water’s still dripping.
I wash away the demons. I take away the damp veil from the mirror.
I was mistaken. I was trapped. Stuck. But I was never lost.
I doubt the stranger and I trust my heart.
Through the glittering surface of the mirror I can see a reflection.
My hand reaching for the mirror. A shrieking noise while the cold material touches my hand in movement before the warmth of my hand reflects upon the silver surface.
The heart’s a stranger we once knew. Before it got blurry.
The familiar stranger pumping waves of blood with pressure through the silhouette. Back to life.
I wipe away the tears. Wash away the demons.
My sight is clear. So is my vision.
I trust my heart.

Gina Laventura © 2014

#sundaystory: Light at the End of the Tunnel

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The information given was:
a) English
b) Light at the end of the tunnel
c) hope, end, tired
d) sarcastic

dedicated to Mathias

Work is done. I’m hitting the road with my car. Rush hour. Traffic.
I’m tired, I’m stressed, I’m exhausted.
Red lights in front of me. On the other lane white and yellow lights staring at me. Inch by inch we move.
How much this situation resembles my life at the moment, I think. I’m moving, but barely do I get forward. Everywhere I look I see red lights, stop and go, slow movement, while on the other side of the road it’s going quicker, people rushing by, leaving me behind.
I just want to get home, it’s my daughter’s birthday and I hope I make it in time to see her opening all the gift boxes. And I still need to prepare a presentation for the meeting tomorrow. Big client. Important client. Sleep is overrated anyway.
All those obligations, musts, have tos. What makes a man a good man? What makes a father a good father? What makes an employee a good employee? Here’s the path. This is how it has to be done.
No options, just obligations.
Similar to my ride in the car. You want to rush, but you can’t, unless you want to crash the car in front of you. You want to turn right, but the lane goes straight forward. Only options are the junctions, the exits. But somebody else established them.
A look on the clock. Tic toc. Time’s running, but nothing’s moving. I get nervous, angry, my hands start sweating.
Deep breath. I put my head on the steering wheel.
Oh, we’re moving again. Slowly, but moving, entering a tunnel.
The darkness embraces me as one of its own. Red lights blinding my eyes. We stop again.
I’m trapped.
In a dark tunnel.
The black walls swallow all my hope, all my senses, all my sanity.
And what they spit out is fear. A fear that creeps up my chest. Barely can I breath.
What if it is going to stay like this forever? Stop and go, but no real forward movement? Blackness around me, lost hopes, and the only thing that stays is a pain in the leg from trying to push the pedal. In vain.
The further we get into the tunnel, the more lost I feel. The more I can only think of black walls surrounding me, the red light directly in front of me, the white light directly behind me.
Everything blurs and turns.
I can’t look ahead. I can’t think ahead. I. am. stuck.
While I’m pushed and pulled by darkness, red and white dots dancing around me, mocking me, I suddenly perceive a beam. Is that the sun?
I close my eyes for a minute. I open them slowly. Inch by inch.
Yes, indeed, it must be the sun.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
Oh!
The red light that beforehand was so close in front of me had moved further away.
We were moving!
Not only were we moving, but we were moving towards the sun.
Its beautiful radiance becoming bigger and bigger, smiling at us.
The darkness vanishes. Slowly. Inch by inch.
I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Finally, I can breath again.