Nobody ever thought that she’d leave them.
But she left them all.
They fought too much or not enough.
Why she left them? Because they didn’t have the right perception of her. And she couldn’t convince them to change their view.
Is it now her fault because she was incapable to show them what she considered the right view? Or is it theirs because of their incapability to change their view because they were stuck in their narrow-minded boxes? She doesn’t know.
Maybe this isn’t about fault at all. But sometimes she wonders why they perceived her like they did. How could they think that she’d never leave? Never go away? Never get sick of all the arguments, all the little heartbreaks, all the aspects that caged her in a personality that wasn’t hers? How did it occur to them that she was for granted?
She never took any of them for granted. Nothing was sure for her.
And yet some of them left. Well, not actually and really, because they didn’t tell her that it was over. But they separated from her before she made the final cut.
In their minds. There the process of separation started. As it is always the mind where things start. And the heart of course.
Her gut always seemed to be smarter than her. But she didn’t listen.
She kept on doing what she did, endured what she didn’t have to endure. Because she thought she had to learn to stop being a little runaway and learn how to endure.
Until one fine day it was enough.
And then she left.
Gina Laventura © 2013