The information given was:
b) Light at the end of the tunnel
c) hope, end, tired
dedicated to Mathias
Work is done. I’m hitting the road with my car. Rush hour. Traffic.
I’m tired, I’m stressed, I’m exhausted.
Red lights in front of me. On the other lane white and yellow lights staring at me. Inch by inch we move.
How much this situation resembles my life at the moment, I think. I’m moving, but barely do I get forward. Everywhere I look I see red lights, stop and go, slow movement, while on the other side of the road it’s going quicker, people rushing by, leaving me behind.
I just want to get home, it’s my daughter’s birthday and I hope I make it in time to see her opening all the gift boxes. And I still need to prepare a presentation for the meeting tomorrow. Big client. Important client. Sleep is overrated anyway.
All those obligations, musts, have tos. What makes a man a good man? What makes a father a good father? What makes an employee a good employee? Here’s the path. This is how it has to be done.
No options, just obligations.
Similar to my ride in the car. You want to rush, but you can’t, unless you want to crash the car in front of you. You want to turn right, but the lane goes straight forward. Only options are the junctions, the exits. But somebody else established them.
A look on the clock. Tic toc. Time’s running, but nothing’s moving. I get nervous, angry, my hands start sweating.
Deep breath. I put my head on the steering wheel.
Oh, we’re moving again. Slowly, but moving, entering a tunnel.
The darkness embraces me as one of its own. Red lights blinding my eyes. We stop again.
In a dark tunnel.
The black walls swallow all my hope, all my senses, all my sanity.
And what they spit out is fear. A fear that creeps up my chest. Barely can I breath.
What if it is going to stay like this forever? Stop and go, but no real forward movement? Blackness around me, lost hopes, and the only thing that stays is a pain in the leg from trying to push the pedal. In vain.
The further we get into the tunnel, the more lost I feel. The more I can only think of black walls surrounding me, the red light directly in front of me, the white light directly behind me.
Everything blurs and turns.
I can’t look ahead. I can’t think ahead. I. am. stuck.
While I’m pushed and pulled by darkness, red and white dots dancing around me, mocking me, I suddenly perceive a beam. Is that the sun?
I close my eyes for a minute. I open them slowly. Inch by inch.
Yes, indeed, it must be the sun.
The red light that beforehand was so close in front of me had moved further away.
We were moving!
Not only were we moving, but we were moving towards the sun.
Its beautiful radiance becoming bigger and bigger, smiling at us.
The darkness vanishes. Slowly. Inch by inch.
I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Finally, I can breath again.